Fundraising copy oversights to rethink in your next campaign

Your nonprofit relies on the generosity of donors to fulfill its mission, but inspiring people to give is no easy task. And while the power of words in your campaign can’t be overstated, writing—writing that sparks connection—is hard. 

In this blog, we’re covering six fundraising copy oversights to avoid so that you can write more effective content that unlocks both hearts and wallets.

Fundraising copy oversight #1: You’re talking about you, not your donors

While unintentional, nonprofits can put too much focus on themselves—their needs, goals, and achievements—without including their donors in the journey. Donors feel good about themselves when giving back to the communities and causes they care about. 

But they want to see themselves in your work as active participants in your mission rather than just a financial resource. Putting donors at the center of your messaging is part of donor-centered fundraising, a strategy proven to result in larger gift sizes and greater donor retention.

To write more donor-centric copy, don’t forget that your donors are real people. Do your research to truly understand their motivations and expectations so that you can speak to them in a way that genuinely engages them and inspires them to take action. Simple tweaks like using less “we” and “us” and more “you” and “your” can go a long way in putting your donors first. If you’re not sure, do a quick audit of your latest appeal. Is it inclusive of your donors, and does it put them at the heart of your mission? 

Keep in mind that your donors want to feel like they’re more than just their wallets. Let them know that they are making a difference—not just their donation. Replacing terms like “your gift” with “your kindness” or “your generosity” is one simple way to make your copy less about your donors’ finances and more about their humanity.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with talking about your mission, your work, your achievements, or your needs. Just don’t make it all about you. Putting donors at the heart of your fundraising efforts not only makes them feel valued and appreciated; it makes them more eager to support your cause.

Fundraising copy oversight #2: You're not emphasizing the impact of donations

For organizations of all sizes, impact measurement is always a work in progress. But being able to communicate to donors their impact on your mission is crucial. In fact, 97% of donors cited the impact of their gifts as a major motivating factor behind their decision to give.

One easy way to showcase impact is with the word “because,” often cited as a magic fundraising word—and for good reason. A Harvard Magazine study found that adding a purpose behind your request can nearly double your success rate. 

So, in your messaging, be crystal clear about how your donors’ funds are being used and the tangible outcomes their contributions have achieved. 

Messaging around impact not only motivates giving but is a vital ingredient to transparency, which helps you build trust and relationships with both current and potential donors.

Fundraising copy oversight #3: You're not telling the right stories

Stories are proven to activate emotional centers in our brains, evoke strong reactions, and generate that all-important facet of emotional connection: empathy. While you likely understand the value of storytelling in your fundraising efforts, you can maximize your impact by not just telling good stories, but by telling the right stories.

Avoid the common pitfall of a one-size-fits all approach to storytelling. Your donors are unique—with distinct motivations, decision-making processes, and personal reasons for giving. Leverage data to segment your audience based on their passions, demographics, donation frequency, past interactions, or other relevant factors. By taking the time to understand your donor base, you can craft stories that deepen their connection to your mission and make your cause their own.

In your storytelling, consider the power of impact-driven language. People need to know what they’re funding, but it shouldn’t be out of reach. Every dollar counts in the nonprofit world, so set attainable goals and let donors know that their gift—however small or large—is meaningful in some way.

And remember that people give to people, not to faceless organizations or buildings. Note how charity: water's appeal isn’t framed around the general benefits of clean water. Instead, it’s centered around 8-year-old Adane and how clean water helps him attend school full-time and dream bigger. These personal stories tap into our shared interests and inspire greater giving.

Fundraising copy oversight #4: You’re using jargon and clichés

While you may think technical terminology enhances your authority, it actually risks alienating and confusing your audience.

Write for casual listeners rather than subject matter experts. Your mission is not their life, so do not assume a level of familiarity and knowledge that just isn’t there. Take the emphasis away from complex terms and make it a human conversation. Writing this way makes you appear real and approachable.

To communicate more with everyday language, also use clichés sparingly. You’ve likely come across common phrases like “move the needle,” “disrupt the status quo,” or “shift the paradigm.” With specificity or context, these phrases tend to fall flat and fail to deliver the impact you were hoping for. 

Try to avoid using buzzy, vague, overused phrases and instead describe what you mean—show not tell. Replace phrases like: 

• “We thought outside of the box” with “we hired a team of creative problem solvers” 
• “We work with at-risk students” with “we work with students in chronic poverty who have to fight to survive.”

Developing your own voice and writing the way you speak in real life is key to bringing donors closer to your mission and inspiring giving.

Fundraising copy oversight #5: You're not getting to the point

Mark Twain famously wrote: “I don’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” 

It’s easy to fall into the trap of overwriting—especially when you’re passionate about your mission and want to talk about it—but attention spans are short. Making your content more concise will better engage donors and increase their likelihood of taking action.

Writing concisely means exercising the willpower to cut extraneous words and keeping to the point. Avoid management bluster like “robust” or “transformational” if you can’t back it up, and don’t use a comma when a full-stop will do. Read your copy out loud, and if you feel silly saying it, delete it. 

With preferring to scan digital content rather than read it word-by-word, ensure that you’re catering to skimmers. Create by using headlines and subheadings to break up information, replacing long paragraphs with lists or bullets, and incorporating whitespace and attractive visuals. 

It goes without saying, but your CTA should be the first thing people see. The goal of your copy is to guide potential donors toward action, so don’t create any unnecessary friction. In our time-pressed world, cutting the fluff can make all the difference.

Fundraising copy oversight #6: You’re not incorporating social proof

Finally, your donors are no different from consumers—they are consumers, after all. The same social influence (purchases by others, recommendations, etc.) that motivates consumer behavior can be leveraged to build credibility and encourage donations to your nonprofit. 

Leverage the power of social proof in your copy by:

• Highlighting donor participation: Seeing that others have donated can encourage more people to contribute. This can be done through fundraising leaderboards or goal meters.
• Showcasing testimonials: Real-life stories resonate deeply and can inspire others to give.
• Acknowledging donors: Recognizing their support makes them feel appreciated and shows that your organization values community.
• Partnering with influencers: Endorsements amplify your message, build trust, and attract new followers to your nonprofit.

Your donors ultimately want to be part of something meaningful, and social proof is a persuasive way of showing them that your nonprofit is just that.
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